The emotional system of the leader
Do you protect your people? There's an unexpected downside.
And it serves as an example of the hidden effects of a leader's emotion system on their team.
Protecting your team looks and feels noble. You act as a buffer and shock absorber so they don't have to ride the shocks unbuffered.
On the flip side are leaders who are the shock and the team has to be the shock absorber for the leader.
In both cases, the leader's emotion system is running a script that dictates the range of actions and reactions that will occur for the team.
In the first case, the team learns that their leader is a hero protector. So they unconsciously drift toward the complementary role. That it's not only okay to need protection - but that this works for their leader. This is learned incapacity.
They actually learn that less capability on their part works for you.
In the second case, the team learns their leader is an electrode. So they learn to reduce triggers. Even when the trigger is important information.
They actually learn to buffer you. To stage manage you.
Here's the problem. In both cases, the leader's emotion system is the tail wagging the dog. The hero case looks good, the electrode obviously not.
Both cases are flawed for the same reason.
The focus of the team is not on performance first. It's on matching the tone set by the leader. It's playing the other part first. Attending to performance second.
The team is either running interference (so the electrode leader doesn't discharge) or it's leaning back (so the over functioning leader can over function).
So the question becomes, what does a neutral stance look like?
It's not letting your emotion system generate a script in advance that decides how things will go.
It's not pre-deciding the team's performance truth. The electrode leader blames them and shoots voltage. The hero leader coddles them and takes on the pressure, themselves.
Both leaders fail to show up cleanly expecting performance without their own emotion system having already set a script.
The neutral stance comes from: Where did the plan expect us to be, where do we seem to be, why, and what's next.
No blame.
No saving.
No theatrics.
Just what's next.
These are two examples at the extremes. Most scripts don't look like scripts at all. They look like just how things actually are.
But when you show up with that hidden script, the people around you fall into the other parts called for by the script.
It drives your inner pattern, and they learn to play along.
Making it look like just how things are. It's self-fulfilling.
If you need to think you're right, they'll learn to let you think you are.
If they learn you're open to the blame game, they'll give you evidence that gets the wrong attention off themselves and onto someone else.
If they learn you only speak truth in sidebar conversations, they learn all public talk is pageantry.
If they learn bad news brings a bad vibe, they'll ensure you never get bad news. Even when it's vital.
And if they learn you need to see yourself a particular way: as quick, smart, humble, or caring.
Or as trusted, firm, clear, and fair. Pick the trait.
Whatever they've learned you need to think and feel about yourself, they don't just follow the script. They stage the set.
It's your own personal Truman Show.
To show up neutral and ready to focus only on "what's next", you need to understand what script doesn't look like a script in your current internal operating system.
Expose it, and new options become obvious.
— C
Finding your pattern and its downstream effects is hard to do alone. I work with groups of 7–12 CEOs, Founders and Owners who do it together. See my contact info if you're interested.